Not an Adventure: My Reality

This weekend was a (mostly) a great one after spending a terrific night in Louisville on Friday. We enjoyed gorgeous weather (though it did get a little too hot in our house for Matt's sake - which was thankfully resolved by purchasing a new air filter for the air conditioner... NOT by calling someone to fix it), and saw some great friends.

Saturday night was spent at a dinner party at the home of our friends Jenna and Lex, friends I met back in DC when they lived in Annapolis. Years later, after their move to Dallas and our move to Denver, they decided to come back to Colorado (much to my excitement). They are terrific people with gigantic hearts. Lex made a ridiculously amazing meal for the guests (I mean, it could have been on some Food Network show or something!), and it was great to meet their friends out here and welcome them to our fun city.

But this post won't be one of my typical posts with the sharing of funny times or pictures... I have really had it on my heart to share some of what we talked about that evening. No, it's not fun or light, so I don't blame you if you move on to another blog right about now. But, it is something that has been weighing on my heart for the past year changing the very core of who I am and want to be... so I thought I'd share a little.

As I've mentioned in some of my previous posts throughout the school year, the current program I'm in for urban education is a pretty progressive program focused on not only producing good teachers, but teachers who are willing to make a change for social justice. Immersing myself in the world of poverty, prejudice, discrimination, inequality, and apathy has not been an easy journey. But despite the hard work (and many tears), I can honestly say that I have grown more as a person - and as a Christian - during this last year being forced to confront the realities so prevalent, yet often ignored, in our country. Getting a solid understanding of what far too many people go through in this country has rocked my world.

And with the new outlook on life (or my "social justice lens" as my classmates and I call it), everything looks so much different than it ever did to me before. I see the world in a new way. I see people in a new way. And wow, it is not easy. Matt has been a terrific supporter as I often came home in tears, or got extremely passionate in dicussions about injustices going on around me or the prejudice and inequality built into so many of our country's systems of functioning. In many senses, it has given me a newly defined understanding of what CS Lewis talked about as being the "weight of glory". With my eyes wide open to these things, I know it is a burden that I alone cannot bear.

Yet, I am all too aware that many people do not see the world the same way that I do. Many people do not believe that prejudice still exists. Many people do not believe that inequality is "that big of a deal". Many people think that we have solved all of our problems and that children that go to bed hungry every night simply need parents who will work harder to provide for them. I do not blame people with these opinions, I just know that they are likely not living in the reality that most people in our country are living in. We too easily can build comfortable bubbles for ourselves - worlds that are simple and easy to live in. Worlds that work in ways that benefit us best. Worlds that speak of love and kindness yet express intolerance or ignorance through our behaviors. Worlds that ignore the hardships of others because it is simply easier to. I know I've lived in these worlds.

At dinner on Saturday night, in front of 10 people (only 2 of which I knew), I entered into this conversation. I sometimes wonder if Matt is rolling his eyes when this stuff comes up... "oh no, here she goes again talking about the importance of equitable education impacting social justice, leading to decreasing poverty, leading to breaking down stereotypes, leading to empowering people of all shapes and sizes, leading to changing the world, blah blah blah". But Matt has never rolled his eyes. He may not be as loud as I am (who is, really?), but I know he feels it all too. And so in the presence of a new friend, who happens to be African-American, I embarked upon this touchy subject and started asking him about his experience living in Boulder. Now, for those of you that are unfamiliar with Boulder, it is a wonderful and progressive place that preaches tolerance and liberalism, yet is home to very little other than white middle-upper class folks. The (few) black students at CU rarely stayed in Boulder after college, and since my new friend not only stayed, but decided to join the police department, I was curious to hear his thoughts.

Now, you may think this is crazy. Why am I asking this poor guy, who I just met, about his experience as a black man in Boulder? I am SO rude! But I tell you what - the more we talked (with everyone else listening closely), the more I could tell that he was more than willing to share his stories - almost like he had been waiting for someone to acknowledge that life has been different for him. And with walls down, we talked. And I heard about how often he got pulled over in his car (night or day) when he never drank, did drugs, nor sped (and how his white friends there vouched that they never once got pulled over); I heard about how people calling for help from the police have asked for a white cop upon his arrival to the scene; I heard about how 2 Hispanic kids who were simply eating some treats outside of Whole Foods had the cops called on them saying they had stolen the food (which they most certainly had not); I heard about people gawking at him and other black friends because they were so out of place; and most importantly, I heard from a kind and intelligent man that life as a black man in Boulder was not fun. He recently decided to change police districts thanks in part to his experiences in Boulder, and he and his wife have since moved to Louisville. But as we talked, we all shared about the sad reality that prejudice, intolerance, and ignorance is far too prevalent in our society.

At first, these things make me angry. Livid. But then, they make me incredibly sad. Sad for those that are daily faced with unkind, hurtful comments/situations/looks and additional hurdles/barriers to jump throughout life. Sad for those that have taken part in creating the way the world works like this. Sad for all humans who ultimately lose when this kind of hate and unlove is manifested. Sad for those that don't believe this is a problem.

I'm not exactly sure why I wanted to share this story. I think part of it is to put some of these thoughts that are racing through my head on paper. Part of it is to share about the lives of others around us. Part of it is in the hopes that maybe others around me will start looking at the world for what it really is, and not how we hope it is. I have come to a point in my life where I feel that if I don't do anything to start making changes in this world, then I am a part of keeping it the same. That certainly may not be your burden, but I do hope that we can all start seeing others for the true value that they are as humans. Not as a man, woman, rich person, poor person, Caucasian, African-American, Hispanic, disabled person... we are all humans. And we all deserve the opportunity to live life to the fullest without the barriers created by intolerant/ignorant humans.

Several months ago, I was moved to write (for myself) an essay about my faith and what it looks like.  I'll finish today's ramblins with a small excerpt from it that I think applies to all of this stuff I've been talking about:

In my mind, love is not reserved simply for our fellow Christians, our family, or our friends. Love, while certainly a feeling or emotion, is also an action, something by which every Christian should be living. Is not love the entire basis of our faith? (Romans 5:8, John 3:19, Mark 12:29-31) And if that is true, should love not be the number one thing demonstrated in our lives as Christians? Should love not be what sets us apart as Christians? Love is an attractive, desirable, and powerful thing, and I believe it is also the answer to the inequities that exist all around us. We live in a country that has such a large gap between the privileged and the unprivileged that those of us who are privileged never even have to stop and realize that we are. We have the luxury of not thinking about or admitting that millions of people are living in poverty, struggling to get food on a daily basis, facing constant barriers in every aspect of life, and hoping for a mere ounce of respect from day to day. They are at a disadvantage in almost every way possible, yet too many of us as privileged Christians tend to see the poor as a pet project or something that will simply always exist no matter what we do. This saddens me. As Christians, helping the poor and less privileged should be a top priority. Rectifying the extreme inequalities and inherent disadvantages in our system should be on our minds at all times. If love is not caring so much about your fellow humans (God's creations) that you absolutely will do everything in your power to give them access to all that is good, then I am not sure what it is.

Love as an action also seeks to address racism, sexism, homophobia, ageism and all the other "isms" that exist. How can we sit by and allow these forms of hate to exist in a world that God created? This will always baffle me, as Christians seem far too quiet and unconcerned on most of these issues. If you are a Christian, I believe your love of God and desire to do His will should lead you to a life filled with love towards ALL of your neighbors whether straight, gay, Christian, Muslim, Black, White, etc. And not just in "theory". Our love should be seen! What are we doing to make this world look more like what God truly envisioned it to be? If God is against "the gays", then He is against all of us. I see no difference, for we are all God's creation.