Juggling

Just a few deep thoughts on motherhood today...

Even Benjamin needs to get contemplative sometimes...

I've learned a lot in the past six months.  And probably the biggest thing I've learned is that being a mom is hard.  Like, really... it's tough.  You have to take on so many new roles in assuming this one new title, and sometimes you're good at them, and sometimes you have to learn how to fake it.  And sometimes, you might just fail.  But day-to-day?  Yeah, that's all about juggling. 

I'm so thankful to have such a fun, happy baby by my side all day long.  But in the past month or so, he's become pretty clingy and definitely much more "needy".  He doesn't like to be away from me much, and he most definitely doesn't like to be bored.  All of this means that the plans that I think I can accomplish sometimes turn out to be pipe dreams.  And all those things I thought I could juggle this summer while hanging out with and raising the babe (school, working, endorsement tests, socializing, playing music with my family, getting my life back in order, etc.) seem to be dangerously close to dropping to the ground.  I look around and see a lot of moms that do so much more with even more kiddos at home, and I don't know yet how that's possible.  Maybe someday I will (when I earn my superpower badge), but for now, my little man keeps me quite busy, while the rest of life just keeps me stressed.  Sometimes I grin and bear it, and some days a few tears need to be shed.

I wish I could say I've found a good balance, or that I don't snap at my husband when I've had a long day and feel overwhelmed, or that I have a clean house, or that I'm a master at watching a baby and doing anything else... but the truth is that I haven't, I don't, and I'm not.  But it has been very refreshing to talk with other moms who can be honest about the "job" of being a mom.  (Don't let anyone tell you it's not hard work, because I can vouch that there's nothing else like it on earth!)  I've been thankful for the honest, open, and real conversations with some friends lately that have been both therapeutic and encouraging.  I know I am now in a special "club" that has many other members who want to walk along side me and share in my joys and trials.  And I'm thankful for that!  For one, I'm learning that though I once was a good juggler of all things, I can confidently say that my juggling skills are seriously being tested in this new phase of life.  And they'll get better, and I'll get more sane, and I'll make it. :) 


But all the hard work is worth it.  Just look at this little man.  Seriously.

Catching up on summer...

I'm blaming my bad blogging habits (and bad picture taking habits) on the bad weather lately.  Our poor state has been ravaged by wildfire and the temperatures seem to keep sticking around 100 degrees.  It's no fun for anyone.  Our AC bill will probably be about $300 (no joke), but we don't care.  Benjamin and Matt are not built for this kind of heat!  Even Lincoln seems content laying on the cool wood floors inside.  My chaotic schedule has also helped my bad blogging/picture taking lately... let's just say I've slightly over-committed myself this summer.  Hopefully the worst week is over (and of course Benjamin chose that week to be at an all time peak of fussiness...), so now I should hopefully be getting a bit more sane.  Only one big project left for my class, so I'm trying to focus on that! :)

Despite being busy, we have had a lot of fun times... Here are a few pictures of proof.

Visits to the pools (well, a real one and a tiny plastic/inflatable one we picked up at K-Mart):

We attempted to use the pool in our front "yard", but even at 5pm it was TOOOOO hot... so we moved to our back patio.  :)

A visit from our fabulous DC friend Carly who stayed with us for a few days:

And yesterday Benjamin got to meet his Great Oma & Opa (my mom's parents)!  We enjoyed a delicious lunch (at Golden Corral - I think they only eat at buffets when they travel, hehe!) and got to talk to Opa about his experiences growing up in Germany/Spain during and post-Holocaust as a Jewish man.  It's so crazy/sad how little I know about my family heritage, and his story is so fascinating.  Someday I hope we can write it all down and maybe even do a family tree!

Sitting up!

This is my big boy. 

All of a sudden he can sit up. 

And it's blowing my mind!

He seems like a little boy already and I can tell he loves having the slightest bit of "independence" when he sits up.  He loves looking at everything, reaching for things, and trying to figure out what to do when he eventually tips over.  And while I LOVE this new development, I know it means the loss of our little tiny newborn.  And with the loss of our stationary baby comes the realization that this boy will be on the move soon enough... and mom's not ready for that!  Stay small Benjamin, for as long as you can!  :)

Father's Day!

Matt got to celebrate his first Father's Day this past weekend, and what a great dad he is.  It was easy celebrating the wonderful man in our lives (i.e. the lives of me, Benjamin, and Lincoln) :)

Father's Day started off a tad early for us as we headed to watch Matt and my dad (Grampa) play with the Jam Knights at a little cafe/restaurant in Lafayette on Saturday night.  They sounded great!  And Benjamin was happy as a clam with all the attention he got all night.  Spoiled little boy!!

dressed for the show

dancing with mom at the end of the night!

 Matt ate about one million mussels... that plate of empty shells was ALL him:

Saturday morning we celebrated the two closest dads (location-wise) with a tasty brunch at our house.  I made some tasty individual egg bakes (with croissant bottoms, yum!), cheesy potatoes, and even some blueberry-infused vodka lemonade!  It was fun spending time with everyone (but sadly I only took two pictures, oops!!):

That afternoon we headed over to spend time with two other dads we love!  Ben and Mackenzie recently moved, so it was also a good excuse to see their gorgeous new home and spend time with all the fun kiddos.  It was great seeing everyone, eating a tasty meal (thanks Kenz!!), and hanging out with such cute kids :)  Baby Kozlowski will be joining us later this summer, and we can't wait to add to the crew!!  And if I haven't mentioned it, I'm so thankful for these friends :)

 

Back at home that night we got ready for another busy week and the arrival of my friend Carly from DC who would be staying with us for a couple nights while in town for a friend's wedding.  And dad got lots of cuddles from Benjamin of course!

Happy Father's Day to a great daddy of "two" :)  We love you!