Update on Baby Larson - 30 weeks

Sometimes I wonder if it's better to know too much or too little.  And even if you don't know either, and feel somewhere in the middle, it usually feels like even that information is too much or too little.  That's kind of how I feel today. 

I wonder if we should have gotten tested for the cystic fibrosis gene.  I wonder if we should have gotten an amniocentesis to find out if Baby Larson is sick.  I wonder if we should stop worrying and just wait until he's here to figure it all out.  I wonder if we should spend the next two months reading book after website about CF.

But, I suppose that knowledge is power (I am a teacher, after all), so in the end, I have to believe that we know some things about this situation that we're in for a reason.  I walk a fine line between wanting to learn everything I can about CF and wanting to put it out of my mind altogether for the next two months... somehow it feels like if I know too much, he'll be sick (yes, I know that's not logical).  But somehow, it feels like if I know too little, I can ignore it all and it will eventually go away (yes, I know that's not logical either).  Still, here we are.  And like our childbirth coach says about labor and delivery, whether we like it or not, or if we think it will be too hard or not, that baby will get here.  One way or another.  While we don't know yet if BL is sick, I know that sooner or later we will know.  And one way or another, we will deal with it. 

(That doesn't mean I have to like any of this)

At our ultrasound on Friday, we heard many terrific things about how BL is growing perfectly average in size, weight, measurements... his head isn't even overly large (something we're bracing ourselves for since Matt and I both have extremely huge nogens)!  :)  At 30 weeks, he looks SO much different than he did at 22 weeks (when we last saw him).  His cheeks are chubby, he opens and closes his mouth, and he just plain looks like a little baby waiting to come out and say hello!  For as much as the unknown stuff sucks, it is pretty awesome getting to catch a few more glimpses of him on ultrasound than we would have without any of these CF concerns.  I'm no ultrasound-reading expert, but I'm pretty sure he's gonna be a cute little guy! 

The doctor didn't see any brightness in BL's lungs or intestines (which is one "sign" of cystic fibrosis due to the type of mucus CF babies produce), but because that's only found in a small percentage of CF cases anyway, it didn't mean all that much.  (Still, I will take it!)  But then the doctor told us that she's seeing some dilated loops of bowel which a) could be nothing to worry about (some babies get it from swallowing amniotic fluid) or b) could be something related to cystic fibrosis (CF babies often have bowel issues as a fetus; many get perforated bowels that are repaired with surgery after birth).  SO, after all of the good news, we still need to go back in 2.5 weeks for yet another check on little BL.  Honestly, I would have preferred to simply hear, "Everything looks okay right now, we'll see how things go once he's here!", but of course, that's just too easy.  And apparently we don't like things easy.

Being the worrier that I am, I foolishly took to Google this weekend to see what I could find about this whole dilated loops of bowel thing.  I don't really understand medical jibberish, but a few of the studies/articles that I came across certainly were not making me feel any better.  So, I had to put an end to that (maybe too much information in this case is a bad thing).  For now, I am just sending up some prayers that little BL is developing well and that God is working some crazy miracle magic on him to help him be healthy when he gets here.  Some babies (without CF) have bowel issues in the womb that can be fixed with surgery... so I'd even take that! 

Baby Larson - we are so anxiously awaiting your arrival.  While we have much to learn as new parents, I know that we will love you like crazy!  We think even the Stinker (your new brother) will love you (if he can ever stop howling at you).  We're getting ready for you to come home and can't wait for you to give us cuddles and coos.  Someday soon your little nursery will not be a giant, disorganized mess filled with boxes and paint cans, but a safe, cozy place for you to love and grow while we feed you, read to you, change you, and put you to sleep (and I hope you'll like baseball!).  Lots of people are looking forward to meeting you and are rooting for you to be a healthy and strong little guy.  Dad is excited to turn you into a Twins fan, and Mom is excited for you to change the world someday.  :)  Get here safely!