"To Whom It May Concern" (i.e. Benjamin)

I came across a gorgeous song a few months ago that was such an accurate representation of how I was feeling (and still am)... granted, it's almost undoubtedly intended as a love song for the person one hopes to find someday, but the words can almost perfectly be used about the little boy we're so anxious to meet.  As I've mentioned (probably too many times), this pregnancy has been a difficult one both mentally and physically, so to finally see his face and feel his kisses will be the greatest thing - I think - ever. 

If you know/like the Civil Wars, you may already be familiar with this song, but here it is if you aren't.  Benjamin, this is my song for you as we wait, wait, wait...

Why are you so far from me?
In my arms is where you ought to be
How long will you make me wait?
I don't know how much more I can take
I missed you
But I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do
Slowly counting down the days
Till I finally know your name
Ooo the way your hand feels round my waist
The way you laugh
The way your kisses taste
I missed you
But I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do, How I do
I've missed you
But I haven't met you
Oh I missed you
I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
Oh how I want to
Dear whoever you might be
I'm still waiting patiently. 

And speaking of music, I, the planner of all planners, have yet to actually get my infamous "birth mix" put together.  Add that to the other things I thought I'd have done about a month ago I suppose... but it's really hard to put together a list of music for such an important day!!  I'll take any suggestions if you have favorites or songs you think I might enjoy.  I've got a few keys ones definitely lined up (of course), but the list needs some beefing up!

Benjamin, we can't wait!  We'd welcome your arrival any day now! And yes, we hope you love the same music we do (well, you don't have to love all of dad's music choices... but I hope you do mine!) :-)

Christmastime Was Here

Christmas has come and gone - and as Matt says, the days following Christmas seem a little deflated... all the build up and then bam, it's over.  Time to clean, time to work, time to get organized for another new year.  But, as I say, that's why I start decorating for Christmas at Thanksgiving, stretching the season out as long as I can.  I love this time of year, and though we wish Benjamin could have been here to celebrate with us, we are already looking forward to his very first Christmas next year.

Our weekend was a great one starting off with a reunion of sorts with some of my best friends from high school.  We've tried to make it a tradition to get together once a year, but living in different states, having busy schedules (including a pilot in the Air Force and a real life rock star currently recording), and now expanding families has made it difficult to hold to the yearly reunion.  Thankfully, quite a few of us were in town on Friday, so we got together for dinner at Rock Bottom Brewery to catch up and enjoy each other's company.  I'm grateful for friends that have been around for over 15 years!

Christmas Eve was a great low-key way to really get in the holiday mood.  Matt was playing at church all afternoon, so Amber and I got to spend some quality time together preparing a meal before he headed out (I tried out a new cider pork chop recipe, made some tasty green bean casserole, and TJ's cornbread! yum...).  Even though our house is "cozy" (i.e. small!), it's so nice to host people and meals, especially before it gets littered with all things Benjamin!  DJ was on his way to New Mexico after work, but thankfully lunch was ready just in time for him to enjoy the meal with us.  It was a wonderful afternoon followed by Amber and I attending the 3pm Christmas Eve service at church.

That night, my mom, stepdad, and brother arrived to spend the evening with us.  They made an amazing dinner (homemade tamales and calabacitas!), and we enjoyed spending time together and exchanging gifts.

After opening the stockings that Santa filled for Matt and I on Christmas morning (even Lincoln got some surprises from Santa!), we headed out to Louisville to spend the day with my dad and stepmom.  We thought we'd give Lincoln an extra Christmas treat by stopping at the dog park since his world is about to be seriously rocked in the coming weeks :)  He loved every second he got to scamper through the snow and play with other dogs.  As you can see, it was a gorgeous Christmas day!

I promise the barking is not Lincoln (for once):

Christmas at the Monroe's was a great time, and of course, we all got very spoiled.  My sister especially outdid herself after getting Matt a hiking pack to carry an infant/toddler in!  I decided to surprise Matt with a complimentary gift to the Airport my folks got Matt for his birthday (which he is slightly obsessed with) by getting him AppleTV.  Now he's a complete gadget dork!  :)  (He's also ready to disc golf with the best of them after getting way too many cool disc golf accessories.) I'd say he had a great Christmas!  I'm also especially looking forward to the massage I got, the dutch oven that now resides in our kitchen, and the beautiful new duvet cover and sheets on our bed!  The bark collar for Lincoln hasn't arrived just yet, but my folks are well aware how much that will help out when little Benjamin arrives!  We are so grateful for all the amazing gifts we received this year - there is no doubt that we are incredibly blessed.

Matt's family's tradition of pickled herring, oysters, and sardines... he somehow got Arlene to partake, but the rest of us stayed far, far away:

Enjoying some Kinect in the basement:

Hilarious footage of hurdles... Lincoln decided he wanted to help Matt win, but really, he just ruined the event! :)

Celbrating my birthday!  Wow, I'm getting old! :)

And with that, we headed back to Denver, enjoyed a little more time with my mom, and went to bed, full, happy, spoiled, and anxiously awaiting Benjamin's arrival :)  I'm feeling very large, very uncomfortable, and exhausted by the even the most mundane of activities (not to mention that I have to pee about every 10 minutes...and that's not an exaggeration!), but most of all I'm feeling excited that we get to see his squishy little face soon!  If I do get induced, it's only 1 week from tomorrow (yikes!!), and if not, he could come any day now (here's hoping!). The (mythical) due date is barely over two weeks away... we can't wait to be a family of 3 (well, four with the Stinker of course)!

Hope everyone out there had a very merry Christmas as well!  Here's to a wonderful new year!

Almost Christmas!

Welcome to our winter wonderland!  After a pretty lame (but cold and icy) storm earlier this week, we finally got a good, substantial, White Christmas kind of snowstorm on Wednesday/Thursday... leaving our neighborhood like this for what is likely to be most of the weekend!  We may not get falling snow on Christmas, but it'll be nice to have some on the ground while it's a typically beautiful Colorado day full of blue skies and fresh, chilly but not too cold air.  We only had to dig our car out once (thankfully), and so far, this big-ole-pregnant lady has not fallen on the ice (knock on wood).  :-)

We've had a great week so far (despite Matt having to work most of it, and thus, driving in the awful snow on his long commute...), and I can't believe it's Christmas Eve tomorrow! The week has seriously flown by with the church worship team Christmas Party at Moe's on Tuesday night (bowling and bbq, can't beat it!), Bryan getting into town and catching the Jam Knights at the Empire on Wednesday night (as the snow was coming down!), and grabbing drinks with the few friends still in town for my birthday last night at a new bar in Baker called Crimson Canary.  I'd say it's been a good week!

Pics from the Empire:

A few snapshots from Crimson Canary:

And now that we're only 3 short weeks away from the due date, we're hoping to get the hospital bag packed, car seat installed, and laundry cleaned and put away for little Benjamin!  The doctor has tentatively scheduled an induction on January 5th pending the findings of our next ultrasound... so we're just sending up prayers that his bowel is developing well and that there's no more growth/expansion of the loops they've been seeing or perforation all together.  We likely won't know much til he's finally here with us, and that is okay with me.  We're excited to be celebrating this season of rejoicing in Christ's birth, and we are just thankful for His grace and mercy every day.  I know we'll get the strength we need to get through whatever may come.

Off to prepare for a delicious Christmas Eve lunch with my sister and Matt before the family rolls into town tomorrow night.  Can't wait.

Benjamin update

It must be obvious that I'm no longer teaching - so many blog updates in one week!  While I miss the classroom, I'm SO thankful for some time to actually get things done.  Christmas shopping (I actually ventured out to the stores and didn't just sit behind my computer ordering online for once!  Not sure if I'll do it again though...holy crowds, batman!), cleaning/organizing (we may or may not have spent nearly an entire day in our wee little basement trying to get our "stuff" organized...), and just generally trying to catch up on life has been really nice.  I'm trying to sneak in naps here and there, but so far I haven't been very successful. 

With the impending arrival of Benjamin, I feel a need to make use of as much free time as I can!  When not cleaning this weekend, Matt and I tried to get out a little while it's still just the two of us.  We celebrated with some of my grad school classmates on Friday night and then enjoyed a great dinner at a new restaurant in Baker (Crimson Canary - yum!).  We even had an old fashioned date night enjoying dinner and catching a movie in downtown Denver on Sunday night! And while Matt was helping to deliver Christmas gifts to the Ethiopian family he met on Thanksgiving last night, I was being treated to a birthday movie night by my sweet friend Jenna. This is a busy but good week!

This is me at 36+ weeks this weekend...

Delivering gifts to the family in Aurora:

As for the most recent update on BWL, we don't have too much to share at this point.  He's definitely growing (6 lbs, 1 oz as of 5 days ago!), and we are grateful for that :)  During our ultrasound last week, the high-risk doctor said that there is no need to deliver early as of yet, though the dilated loops of bowel did grow (bummer).  Because he's not completely certain if they are in the large or small intestines, it's still a waiting/guessing game... I have to go back for another ultrasound in two weeks (assuming he's not here by then!), and we just have to keep a close eye on him.  Surgery isn't ruled out, nor is it being planned for, so we're still in a big, giant grey cloud.  I hate being in the grey area, but I guess it's better than being in a black or white area that I may not like... And while I try to be optimistic and hopeful about everything, it's definitely hard not to get too worried or discouraged thinking about the health of the son you haven't even met yet.  We are grateful for all the prayers and support, and for now, that's certainly all we can ask for.  We continue to pray that he is healthy and that the most concerning outcome (BWL having CF) doesn't come to fruition.  What a wonderful Christmas gift that would be!

Sadly, BWL continued his tradition of being shy for the camera - he really seems to love holding his arms in front of his face (I can only imagine what he'll be like when I've got a camera in his face for the next 18 years!) :)  So, no good ultrasound pics once again.  But, it was fun to see him and it's been fun feeling him twist and move around - he's in the head down position, so I just keep hoping that as soon as he's ready, he'll come on out!  :)  We met with a pediatrician last week and feel pretty good about the practice, so there's yet another thing off our checklist! 

Little Benjamin, I think we're pretty much ready to meet you!  If our house is a mess, I apologize, but your room is ready, the Stinker is anxious to meet you, most of your clothes are washed and put away, and we can't wait to cuddle with you!  I think that's just about all we need :)

GBC Christmas

Last week we celebrated our 2nd annual "book club" Christmas gift exchange.  (I say "book club" because it's part Bible study, part other book study, part catching up time, part support group, and not quite as much recently, part wine club)  I'm so thankful for these ladies who have helped make life in Denver so wonderful.  It is no small thing to have a group of such amazing women who are there for you through thick and thin.  I am not unaware of how blessed I have been and continue to be by their friendships. :-)  Benjamin - I can't wait for you to meet these awesome ladies!  They can teach you all about kindness, good cooking, encouragement, laughter, grace, and love.  You will be a lucky little fellow to have such great women around you!

 

A real teacher at last!

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." - John 1:5

Recently at church, our pastor was talking about "the light" - no need for a sermon here as I'm sure there has been about a million already preached on the greatness of "the light" - but for some reason, I kept thinking about my students.  Maybe it was because only two days earlier I finished student teaching and said farewell to all the amazing young people I spent the last 4.5 months with.  To say that I taught them would almost be foolish - I walked away that day feeling like I had grown and learned more than I had in most of the previous 30 years of my life.

If you watch the news or listen to parents (or folks that simply have opinions, whether informed ones or not), you are likely to hear all about the devastating state of our education system (particularly here in Denver or other urban cities).  The rhetoric used is so strong that I often wonder how we ever expect the schools to "turnaround" when we leave so little room for them to do anything but be ridiculed and criticized.  Parents want to send their kids to private schools or the latest and greatest charter school down the street... but the students who are left out either due to economic reasons or simple lotteries for admission are left behind to somehow "survive" the public school system.  All of this talk makes me sad beyond belief.  There is SO much hope for our students, especially our inner-city kids, and I'm afraid that we keep putting out their lights when we speak and act so negatively about their education...their futures.  But I have seen our kids at work.  I have seen them thrive and shine brightly despite what society tells them.  I have seen them overcome invisible obstacles that students only miles away don't have to even think about.  And that is why I want to be a teacher.  Yes, our government SERIOUSLY underfunds education.  Yes, there is so much bureaucratic ridiculousness to deal with in education that it often makes it hard to come to work.  Yes, education is only one piece of the puzzle that will help students out of poverty or poor life choices.  Yes, it is just plain HARD. And still, there are amazing things happening in our public schools.  I believe it.

I want to be a part of it.  Seeing how much power and confidence you can give a student by believing in them and helping them learn about and engage with the world is one of the best feelings I've ever had.  And that's why when we were talking about light and darkness at church this week, I thought about students.  I thought about the students who work hard despite tremendous adversity, the students who come home to very little every night, the students who don't have a steady place to live, the students who have faced more hardship than I could ever imagine... though there is darkness all around them, I know their light will not be overcome!  Somehow, good is at work, and I hope I can be a part of it.  I hope I can help them let their lights shine more brightly than ever.

And with that, I am thankful to be done with my teaching program and ready to begin teaching in the Fall (hopefully!).  Jobs are certainly hard to find for social studies teachers, but I'm holding out hope that there's a space for me somewhere.

Here are a few of the classes I worked with this semester.  I will miss them!!

And here are some of the notes/cards I received from students on my last day... I cried at almost every one I got.  These are just a few are from students who really meant a lot to me, and I hope to never forget how much they taught me!  (If you click on them, they should become large enough to read)